I see you in colours that don’t exist.
That night when we went to see that play, and we were walking through the crowd of people after the show, you walked ahead of me but kept close by, leading the way but with your body turned towards me slightly, looking behind to make sure I was still there.
At that moment I felt an infinite feeling of tenderness towards you.
I have been neglecting my blog (and those I follow) lately because a lot has happened in the past several months, including working on compiling my poetry for my first self-published book! I went the quick and easy way, and used the Booksmart software offered by Blurb, but it still feels good.
Please feel free to check out a preview of my book. It’s available for purchase on Blurb:
“I’m not explaining this right. What happened was this. There were these beautiful feelings and loose little pleasures inside me. And this woman was something like an assembly line for my soul. I run these little pieces of myself through her and I come out complete. Now do you follow me?”
― Carson McCullers, A Tree, a Rock, a Cloud
Upon your head is anointed the holiness of life.
Instead of bowing under the heaviness of the burden,
raise up like a ship upon the sea.
Sometimes you find lovely gems like this in the World Wide Web. I wish I had read this in my confused and turbulent early 20′s.
You don’t have to achieve great things by the time you’re 25
You have intrinsic value above and beyond your perceived utility to other people and society at large.
You don’t have to have sex, or have sex in any way that you find uncomfortable or unpleasant, to keep anyone’s love or good opinion of you. They didn’t love you or think very well of you to start with if they demand it.
You don’t have to stay with someone who isn’t meeting your emotional or sexual needs because they need you, or you’ve been with them for awhile, or you need to be in a relationship. You need you. Your time is your own and it is finite.
It’s ok to work at a job you enjoy that doesn’t make you miserable even if it’s not a career and it won’t “lead to anything.”
Your life is not a narrative. It is not leading to anything, there is no overarching thesis, it does not have themes beyond the usual shared cultural experiences of your time and place. This is ok. It does not mean that your life is without purpose or meaning.
It’s ok not to like or get along with the vast majority of people you encounter, so long as you afford them the same respect, courtesy and dignity that they afford you.
Expensive is not always better.
Failure is temporary if you’re still alive.
People are both much better and much worse than you’d suspect, but usually not all at once.
Stop thinking of your future self as a different person and it will be easier to prevent money and health problems.
Let people help you, lean on them when you need to, and be available to help, but don’t swing too far in either direction. Try to carry your half of the life basket as evenly as you can.
Set boundaries, and do not be afraid to kick people out of your life who disregard them. You will not end up alone and unloved. People who love you will be ok with your boundaries.
Your power does not come from money or beauty, but from seeing life steadily and wholly, from a curious and thoughtful mind, and from your ability to say no when you want to, and yes when you want to, and I don’t know when you don’t know.
There will be bad times, maybe lots of bad times, but not only bad times.
Love will not heal the wounds in your soul, but love can give you the impetus to begin the work of healing yourself.
Life might be a long series of starting over, and that’s alright.
You’re really cool, you’re really beautiful, you’re really special. Really. Not to everyone, but to a lot of someones sometimes.
“I guess when you’re young you just believe there’ll be many people with whom you connect … Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.”
Céline, Before Sunset
You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.